Thursday, October 11, 2012

What Did You Come Here, For.

I came to be anonymous,
 I came to be alone.
 I came to close a door I had opened,
 I came to drive you home.
 I came to listen to all you had to say,
 I came to be more like a friend.
 I came to come outside and play,
I came to celebrate the end.
 I came for beer I came for laughs,
 I came for my own good.
 I came to put aside the past,
I came to take whatever I could.

Mom-entarily Mental <3

Friday, August 10, 2012

I'm a Hazard to Myself. Don't Let Me Get Me.

             I bet you're wondering why I am naming this blog after parts of a P!NK song. Well, SO am I. I just... Hell, I don't know who I am today. I didn't know who I was, yesterday. I probably wont know who I am, tomorrow, either. Sometimes I get in a funk. I guess it's excusable, being that I've been through a helluva lot this year. Parts of me are missing. I feel that, sometimes, these parts of me are endangered. I feel that these missing parts of me could be lost for good. I don't want that. I want my life back. Sometimes I don't know how to be strong anymore. It's tough, when you've been the strong one your whole life, and nobody ever let you break down, but that's a whole other blog.
           I've been bringing myself down, lately. I have had seriously negative thoughts, that aren't safe for me. They just bring me further down until I can't take it anymore. I want to fight my way out of it, with my good natured, joking, monster strong personality. But. I. Can't. Fuck that. Yes I can. I am me, I am not a pussy. I can do this shit. I need to pull my clever, little head out of my ass up for air and DO THIS SHIT, HOOYAH!. I owe it to myself and my family (those of them who actually love me for me, and aren't selfish bitches who try to bring me down). Fuck feeling sad about it, what's that gonna do for me? Not. A. Fucking. Thing.
             Yeah, I can do this make this problem my bitch. I've got this under wraps. Right? Yeah. That's right. Bet your sweet ass bottom dollar. I will be better, tomorrow, than I was today, and better the day after that. This is my life, and I am taking control of it RIGHT NOW. I truly can be my own worst enemy. Nobody can be harder on myself than me. If those of you, who care to point out all of my weaknesses and mistakes, are reading my blog, thanks NO THANKS for the encouragement  discouragement.  I'm a far better person than you give me credit for. Watch and see.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

My Youngest Son

              Oh my adorable, chunky, little ball of awesomness! I love you, my baby boy. I am so proud of you, too. You are so handsome, so sweet, and so wild and free-spirited. You're smart as can be, too. I just want you to know, I love you, boy. Mommy will always be here for you, no matter what. You were named after a great man, and I have always said, "If you grow up to be half the man he was, at his worst, I know I can be proud".  This is true. I see so much personality in you, sweet boy. 
               I know you're only two, but you will also be an amazing man someday. You are a very lovable person, when you want to be. You are such a little joy to be around. You have no fear, and you've always ran wide open. I thank God for you. I was so surprised when I found out you were coming into my life, but cried tears of joy when I first saw your handsome little face. It hurts me so bad that people are trying to keep you and your sister and brother away from me, but I will get you guys back, I have Faith. They tricked me, and I pray you never know the pain I feel without you guys. I want to give you some advice, now, and always remember this: Never Sign Anything if you arent completely sure what it is. 
                I miss all three of you guys, so much and I am so ready to see you guys. Your stepdaddy is someone you can look up to, and he loves you guys, too. I know that you love him with all of your little heart. I am so glad he's been in your life. I know that you'll be an awesome man, one day, my baby boy. I am sorry you have such a manipulative, lying person as a stepmother, and that your "father" is never there for you. I know that you're smart enough to know that I am your MOMMY, even though your stepmother tries to tell you otherwise. I know you miss me, and I miss you, too. You guys had the most stability you've ever known when you had both me and your stepdaddy there all the time. I love you, my sweet child, and this, too, shall pass. 

My Oldest Son

                    My little stud, you are so wonderful! I am so proud of the little man you are. You are truly a mommy's boy and I know that you always will be. You really saved my life. I was at such a difficult time in my life when I found out I was pregnant with you. You made me wake up and realize what I had to do to get my life back on track. I just want to let you know that you are one of the reasons I am alive today! You're such a blessing, my little stud. You're worth every extra pound I gained when I was pregnant lol. You make me so proud! 
                  First of all, you are such a soft hearted, little one. You are smart as can be, you take after me there, as your siblings do. I can see myself in your smile, too. I thank God for you and the amazing young man I know you'll become. I can not wait to see what you become in this life. I know that you and I have a special bond and that you'll never turn your back on me. I will never, ever, turn my back on you, either. I know that right now things are tough, my sweet boy. Please never lose that twinkle in your eye. You can always come to me, with ANYTHING! I promise. I pray that you will always be a man of God. I pray that nobody ever hurts you. I pray that you are always as positive as you are right now. 
                   Baby boy, you are going to make some woman a very wonderful husband when you grow up. I can see the good man you will become, in the future. I know that you haven't had such a positive role model as a father, but I know how much you've always looked up to your stepdaddy, and I hope you know that he loves you, too. The way that he loves your mommy, is the way I want you to love, when you are grown. I am so glad for the time he's spent in your life, doing "boy things". I am so glad to see how much of a good big brother you are. I know that you love LM and our little Lady Bug. It made my heart swell with pride when I saw you hold them both for the first time. I know that your older sister, and you, go at each other at times, but I know you'll always love her, too. And I know you will always look out for one another and that makes me so happy!
                      Please, never forget how much I love you, my son. Please never change, always smile the way you do now. You have so much greatness in you. I love you, my boy.

My Oldest Baby

            This is a lil something I've written to my oldest child, my "Scooter Poot".
Oh, where do I start? You are so completely amazing! I am so proud of how intelligent you have shown that you are, and how awesome it is to know you. I am so proud to call you my daughter. You didn't just save my life, you helped me become who I am, today. I look into your beautiful face and I cannot help but to smile. You are my first born child, and you showed me how to love. You taught me how to be unselfish, you are the reason I think before I speak. You put meaning into my life and I never knew true love until I felt you moving in my belly.
        I know I have made mistakes, sweet girl, and I know that you will see past them, when you are older, because I raised you to be kind, and to be a Christian. I promise not to cry, too much, when you get to the age where you think you don't need me anymore. I promise to always be here for you, no matter what. I promise I will always believe in you. I thank God for you every day and night, and ask him to bless you with health, intelligence, and happiness. You will only understand how deep my love for you is, after you become a mom. I would do anything in this world for you, my sweet girl.
         I can honestly rest assured that you will achieve greatness in your lifetime. You are such a smart person. I can see that you will be loved by all, because since you were a baby, you have never met a stranger. I know in my heart that you are strong, because we have been through so much. I see myself in your smile and that makes me so happy. Thank you, sweet girl, for being a child that I can be proud of. I love you.

Monday, July 30, 2012


       I had an English teacher in high school (Mrs. T) who was quite a character. When asked my a friend of mine "How are you always in such a good mood?" This was what she said to do. She said "Well, when I get up in the morning and am getting ready for work, I sit in front of the mirror and laugh at myself, I literally just sit there and start laughing. At first it's a little bit forced but after a while it really starts to be funny." I am going to try this tomorrow, because I am having a completely shitty day. I literally have no patience for bullshit. I've tried to meditate, I have tried "talking it out", I have tried meds (yeah I'm that girl. The one on medicine to help me sleep at night, because I just can't TURN it off. Let me explain what that means, to those of you who aren't insomniacs. I worry, constantly, both about things I can control and the things that are not in my power to fix. The quietest times of the day/night are the WORST. 
     Here lately I have had a combination of all of the most severe worries at once. I'm fuckingsickofit. I hear that I am not good enough at blank   and then it's on. So to those of you who read this that may possibly be in my life (IRL) and reading this (there aren't many) FUCKING STOP. I'm sick of instability, I'm sick of coming up short. I'm sick of the lack of emotional support from the people who are supposed to be positive influences in my life. Yeah, my past WAS gray. Whofuckingcares? Nobody is perfect and the past is the past. If you were in my life at one of my low points, don't feel the need to compare me to that, because I HAVE bettered myself, and I AM moving forward. To those of you stuck on the 15yr old version of myself, LET IT GO, I am not that girl anymore, so maybe you should let yourself come into the present with the rest of the world. If I have wronged you, I am almost positive that I have apologized. If I haven't apologized, feel free to let me know what I've done that needs an apology and I will sure give you one. Stop holding shit over my head, because you can bet your ass I'm not gonna hold anything over yours. If we had problems, ever, IRL, and you KNOW me, than you know I do not stay mad at people. Ever. 
        What I am tired of tolerating, is people who haven't forgiven me. Especially when they haven't forgiven me for something DUMB, that's OVER WITH. What I am DONE tolerating, is a cocky, "holier than thou" attitude, especially from people who have NO CLUE what life is about, much less what I have/am enduring. I'm DONE biting my tongue.  From here on out, if you have some input or advice for me, make sure I ASKED you for it before you dish it out. No, I don't always know what the fuck I am doing, but I damn sure don't need advice from overly opinionated youngsters, or loud mouths. Some people may take offense to this, well guess what, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. I am tired of trying to please everyone. You'll get what you give, in my life. If you don't want to be in my life then LET ME GO. Don't sit there and stew in your disdain, just GTFO. Don't overreact when I tell you something that I feel, because I'm not going to be nice anymore. I let far too much shit slide. It's time to take care of me and mine. 
         To those of you that this doesn't apply to, carry on, sorry if I stressed you out, lol. To those of you this does apply to, I STILL LOVE YOU, just get over yourself, I don't need anymore stress. 

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

This Is About Lady Bug.

Dear, sweet, beautiful child 'o mine.(MY mama used to say that to me.)
I love you. You save me. You Saved my life, like each of your brothers and your sister has. In your own ways, you all have. I know unconditional love ONLY when I gave birth (or actually got pregnant with) to Ariana. That's when I knew. true true love. I am amazed by you everyday. you complete me.

I can't imagine life without any of you. Your dimples make everything you do cute. I see so many beautiful things in your future. youareamazing.

Blog Award. Thanks Sooperdad!

Thank you to my friend  Thanks to this guy

Ok, I have been nominated for a blog award! Now I get to work for it, this may be fun!
I have to give 11 random facts about myself, and each fact will be fabulous!
I have to choose another 11 bloggers to receive this award, and tell them they have been nominated- which I'm not sure of how to do?.
I have to answer 11 questions from SooperDad, and then I have to ask 11 questions to my nominees woo hoo, let's get it onnn!

                                         11 Mental Facts About Mom

  • I actually love the number 11. It's symmetrical, and I have a weird OCD about numbers.
  • I have 4 amazing children, who I'd do ANYTHING for. Two daughters, aged 8yrs, and 6mos, and two sons, ages 5yrs and 2yrs. They amaze me, daily.
  • I am utterly in love, for the first and last time of my life. I met him in Highschool, but he never knew how I felt. I married an idiot and had 3 beautiful kids with him, then we split up 3 years ago. At that time I found "Hunny" on facebook. After all that time I was still head over heels. We talked on FB and the phone every night for a year, then started dating and have a beautiful daughter, together.
  • I am the black sheep of the family. I am spontaneous, random, caring, and I let people walk all over me and treat me bad, far too often. That shit will soon change.
  • I CAN admit when I am wrong. I really can. That being said, I google EVERYTHING, partly because I do not trust that people are right. If I google it and find that I am wrong, I will say I AM WRONG. (I'm rarely wrong)
  • I have a strong Faith in God, and I am a sinner. I pray every night.
  • Sometimes, when I pray, I get distracted about something that I am praying about and have to say "Lord forgive me for rambling" (OK OK, it happens every night)
  • I am afraid of feet. I hate them all, even my own. I am constantly washing my feet.
  • This is number 9, I just had to count my bullets. I live on my phone, and currently Skype. I LOVE TO SKYPE!
  • I am very blessed. I try to count my blessings very often.
  • Last but not least, I LOVE to laugh. I love to be goofy, I love to sing and dance and joke around. I cannot stand to be around someone who constantly complains or badmouths people.
Next off, I have to nominate 11 bloggers. IDK how to tag them though... I may have to edit this later.

                                 My Eleven Blogger Nominees

  1.          Slice of Humble
  2.          MomzillaRawr
  3.          I'm a Bitch, and Proud of It
  4.         Mommy to Three Monsters
  5.         PaRANThood
  6.         The Klonopin Chronicles
  7.         I want a Dumpster Baby
  8.         My Inner Child is a Drunken Whore
  9.         Insane in the Mombrain
  10.         Inside the Mind of a Ghetto Genius
  11.         Parenting for Idiots, And Daddy's Stupid Blog
I dunno if all of these people actually blog, but we will see!
Next, eleven questions from Mr. Sooper Awesome Dad

                               Eleven Questions & Answers
                            (Asked By SooperDad)

1)Choose a character or person (fictional or real) that closest resembles your life so far. Why?
I don't think anyone resembles me or my life. I try to be like Mother Theresa, but I don't succeed.

 Mayo or Miracle Whip?
I hate either on my burger. Mustard, please. But I have learned that I love only Helmans Mayo, in tuna or chicken salad.

Is there any book you have read that you absolutely hated? 
I got mad during "Baal" by Robert McClendon. He was so evil and manipulative, and it made me think of the people I know who are similar. But it was a GREAT book, also.

Best looking person alive (besides me)?
LoL, haha! Well Honestly, my Hunny. I am more attracted to him than I have ever been to anyone else! And for a LONG time! lol

How did you get into the blogosphere?
I use my blog as a way to get some of the crazy out. It also keeps me from stabbing people. However, my best friend (KPP) convinced me to create my page. She thought other people would appreciate my humor as much as she does.

Who is your favorite comedian?
I love Adam Sandler, and Katt Williams, for two, very different styles of comedy. Dane Cook's all time fave though.

Favorite charity? Why?
Anything that helps animals. I am a sucker for animals. I love them, and people can be so cruel to them. For instance, the lady who is supposedly a "Cat Lover" and yells at her cat all day- annoys me. I had a neighbor about a year ago, who had this tiny dog and we could always hear her yellin "Go Poop, RIGHT NOW"! She was old, but c'mon, love the lil furry guys, they worship us as their owners.

Would you rather be wealthy beyond your dreams, or well-respected?
At this point in my life, I pick wealth. I have found too many people who are just disrespectful and have lost faith in being respected for who I am. Give me the cash and I can MAKE people respect me. Some people are so disrespectful that they need their asses whooped. I could go on and on.

What is your favorite conspiracy theory?
Mermaids, the Body Found. You. Have.To. Fucking. Watch. it.! 

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
I'm not sure I think they should spend their time doing something more constructive, not tearing shit up, chucking all over the damn place. Take up knitting. Settle down.

Favorite 80's movie? (If it's anything other than the Breakfast Club, you're wrong.)
Sorry, nope. "Dream a Little Dream". LOVE IT SO MUCH. My youngest is named after the lady love interest. Watch it, it's great!

Now for my questions to my nominees:
  1. What is your favorite thing about Facebook?
  2. What is your biggest fear?
  3. Do you believe that there are "ghosts" among us? Any encounters?
  4. What's the best cure for a headache?
  5. What state do you live in, and what state were you born in?
  6. What's your favorite pickup line?
  7. Do you think I'm pretty? LoL
  8. Favorite Author?
  9. In your opinion, what's the BEST vehicle in the whole wide world?
  10. Worst habit? Best Thing about you?
  11. What would be a dream come true to you?

There we have it, folks. Let me know what you think :)
All my love, all my hugs XoXoX
~Mom-entarily Mental~

I forgot to put my award up ☺
Find me on Facebook @   Thanks Sooperdad

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

I am so mad.

               I am super annoyed! Apparently, there's some idiots out there who think it's okay to dehumanize an innocent, little five year old girl, with progeria. This disgusts me! How awful does your life have to be, to bash a little girl? I want to ask you all to be on alert for the pages referring to this little angel as an "alien" titled "Stop the Aliens, before it's too late", search them, report them, let's take away these people's hobby! Also, if anyone knows how to report these pages to the correct authorities, let me know!!! I don't know why, but I have a feeling we can make a difference. C'mon, you guys, let's show these bullies they aren't shit!

She's counting on us

Friday, July 13, 2012

My Breasts

          This is a controversial topic, but I really don't see why. See, I've got 4 kids and have breastfed ALL of them, some longer than others for different reasons. I am currently breastfeeding a 6 month old, wonderful little girl. When I was pregnant, my MIL told me "You aint gonna make it 6 months breastfeeding!!" Suck it bitch, who's laughing, now. She also said the words "You mean you're gonna be SELFISH and be the only one who gets to feed her?" Selfish, what? Since when is providing my baby with the most natural form of sustinence, SELFISH? What is selfish, to me, is that anyone would want to deprive my baby of what I consider the healthiest, most beneficial form of nurishment around, just so they can tell everyone that they take care of my kid, and I don't. Now in the same breath, I want to state, I do not CARE if you chose to formula feed- whatever, good for you, bro. And I don't JUDGE those who didn't even attempt breastfeeding, because it's your fucking decision and THIS IS MINE. I'm simply saying, butt out of my shit, if you have anything negative to say about me nursing my kid.
         Fast forward to the delivery room. I had 4 people arguing about who was going to be in the room, whilst my vagina turned inside out. None of which were my family, all his. I WAS NOT relaxed, I was annoyed and wanted everyone but my boyfriend GONE. Still, I ended up having MIL and SIL in there, too, with my two BIL's mad because they weren't in there. UGH.
         OK more fast forwarding. (Insert silly FF noise, here) I'm in recovery, and nursing my baby, on demand, LIKE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO. BIL #2 comes in with some girl I don't even know and is like "Ugh, OMG you have to do that, NOW?" Uh, yeah fucker, I do, my kid is hungry and this is how she fucking eats.
         It went on, each time someone would come over, when we got home, and they'd wig out everytime I fed my kid. So I pretty much stayed confined to my room, and then eventually moved out (TY Jesus). So to give some advice, if you are a douchebag, like this, STFU, and don't be so fucking rude! I'm gonna feed my kid when she's hungry and guess what? Her food comes from my BOOB. Get over it or go home. People need to let moms do what they do. People need to stop giving unsolicited advice, IDGAF if you have 20 kids, to my 4. I know what I am doing, and I am doing a DAMN good job. All of my children are amazing, because of how I raised them.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Weird Ass Dreams and Poo On His Hand

       I woke up from a really weird dream at 2am and tried to send myself a message about it so I could remember to blog about it, because it also reminded me of something I should have said earlier, to my boyfriend. I ended up sending the following messages to my best friend, Kayla.
Seriously, I have no clue.

I have no idea why I called her "g". So anyways, here is why I was texting myself.

               I was dreaming that I was at my boyfriends work (only it looked nothing like where he actually works) and wearing my cut off shirt. My boobs were kinda big, I guess because I'm nursing and at the time in my sleep I could feel how full they were. Anywho, I walked through this crack in the door to get to my kid, and I had to walk past the boyfriend's coworker. The boyfriend's coworker said "Nice Crumb tray". Talking about my boobies. LoL. And then I woke up and remembered a comment my boyfriend made earlier.

       He was downstairs, watching our 6month old, while I was cleaning the bathroom, upstairs. I was gettin my scrub on, and I hear "Babyyy!" So my natural instinct is to be like "WHAT!?" And he was trying to get me to help him, because our daughter had pooped. I was like, psh, handle it. When I came back downstairs, from cleaning the toilet and whatnot, I said "Did you change her?" and he replied "Yes, and I got POOP on my hand!" Oh really. Poop. Baby poop, at that. I should have said, "Aw, you got innocent baby poop on your hand? Well let me tell you what I got on mine!" "I had my head practically in a bowl of your pee and poop, and your pee and poop is NOT innocent, I just scrubbed all of your facial hairs and toothpaste off of the sink AND had to stick my hands in a tub, where all of your sweat, daily body dirt, and foot particles make a sort of gross soup!" But I didn't say that. I didn't think about it until later.

      Yes, these are the things that cross my mind at 2am.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Nausea, Heartburn, Indgestion, Upset Stomach? Fuck your PeptoBismol

                  I feel like shit. So bear with me. I've had some sort of unpregnancy-related, un-gallbladder-related, undiagnosed CRAP going on. It's fucking stupid. I hurt DAILY. I'm nauseated, any time I eat, so am trying to eat less often and just drink tons of juice and take vitamins, you know, for strength, but fuck strength, it's overrated.
               I debated whether or not to blog about this, and decided, it's my BLOG, so that's what it's FOR, right? Damn right. So anywho, I've freaking been through every test. And frankly, I have no answers. Now I don't have a doctor since my insurance changed. Have to drive over an hour an a half, or two. Yeah, fucktards, I don't have a/c in my car and it's eleventy hundred, outside, ya digg? A 95 Mercury Grand Marquis sounds marvelous, right? Ya, damn right. In '94-'96. Then it was shit. Because that's how Ford Builds Stuff. Ford Tough. Pffft. My ass.
           Off Topic! Anyways, my belly. Yes, it's annoying the motherfuck outta me. So I have to make an appointment. To get more tests, to find out what's wrong with me. And they're gonna violate me... And it's not even a good kind of violate, that you joke about when you're chillin' with your homies. They get to make money, doing stuff that helps them find out what's going on. YAY. Doesn't everyone love when your tests come back negative and it's a good thing, and a bad thing? Stressful!
             Oh well, I just want to take this time to say, "Fuck your Pepto". 'Cause, it sure isn't helping me any. And, peace! Oh, and, "Hi" to my bitches that be pimpin' me, yo. Haahaa I've always wanted to say that! I'm gonna go watch the baby roll around, and chew on shit toys. Hope you guys have a good weekend coming  up in your futures.  X's & O's.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

           Sometimes, I feel as if I am truly an oddball. Partly because I am, partly because, half the things that run through my head probably don't run through other people's heads. I start writing these blogs and don't even really think about them, they are never constructed properly, and sometimes they have no point. However, I write them down to get these things out of my head so new, more amazing ideas can come to mind in the old ideas place.
           Anyways, whatever, here was one of my amazing ideas. I was talking to the boyfriend, and keeping him awake with my goofy shit(as usual), and decided to have theme days. Like days where we could dress up at least one day of every month (Halloween-ish stuff) Or have to have a certain accent ALL DAY LONG. Ok, so Janurary 15th would be national 60's/70's day. We would of course dress up as hippies. It's not optional, everyone MUST participate, ok. Feburary 15th would be Rockin' that Afro Day, mandatory afros for all, even your baby. March 15th would be Native American Culture Day, where you all will dress up in authentic American Indian clothing, like a pocahontas style dress, headress included. April 15th is Vato Day, and you have to talk like the dude on Next Friday who was like "No more locked doors, holmes". May 15th is Valley Girl day, "Like, duh", gum chewing is completely nessecary. June 15th is Zombie/Monster Day. You. Must. Dress. Scary-as-fuck.
           You liking the way this is goin'? Well we're only halfway done, guys. July 15th, is English Settler Day, complete with your English accent, and the freaking awesome clothes they wore back then. Like So

I'm totally serious
August 15th will be Loony Day. Seriously. Go nuts, forget to brush your hair, wear mismatched shoes, act like you've lost it (Not too much of a stretch for some). September 15th is going to be Old School Gangster Day. Bugsy Segal type shit. Italian and NY accents for all. It will even be legal to counterfiet money on that day. October 15th is gonna be Rennasiance Day. Dress like a Fairy, A queen, A joker, any of the guys you'd see at a Rennasiance Fair, and be all like "My Lady, My Lord". For Halloween, just do whatever the fuck you want. In November, we're gonna have "Make Fun of Hitler" day. Just make Hitler the butt of your jokes all day long, because he sucks.
             And Finally, MY FAVORITE day will be December 15th, and since I am not greedy about who gets to go first and bull like that, my month will be last in the year. This is redneck day, and you LOVE IT. This is gonna be sterotypical, Clampett Style, black out some teeth and talk like a full blown HICK day! Woo HOO! We can totally do this if anyone wants to play this game with me! The Hunny said he isn't going to participate, but after he sees how much fun WE ALL are having, maybe he will be swayed. Who's down?

Thursday, June 21, 2012

A Few More Poems

Here's a few more of my poems. Yes, I wrote them all.




I still love the way you smile at me,
And you never make me feel like you want to be free.
I am blessed to have you on my side,
Making my life less of a bumpy ride.
You can count on me to always be here,
And for my love to grow daily, year after year.
You make me see that I can conquer all things,
And I honestly feel like my heart has grown wings.
What I have for you is more than just 'love',
And life without you would just be so rough.
I love you, my dear, with all that I am,
And I will be yours, forever, I plan.

Recipe For Disaster

Take a little piece of your soul,
Cover it in fear.
Wrap it up in garnished weaknesses,
Add a little tear.
Take away the faith and hope,
Bleach out all the love.
Let it rise on the inability to cope,
Remove all sight of above.
Keep it in the cold and darkness,
Manifest some dread.
Fold the anguish into a new harness,
Voila, disaster is bred!

Crowded Streets

We're all building bridges with landmines now,
Curiosity gets us all shot.
We cover for the weaklings who never learned how,
Animosity was all that we got.
We can't teach our children to climb higher,
Disaster lays in all of the clouds.
We've sold our dreams to an invisible buyer,
Disease has us all filled with doubts.
Bury the wicked with champange and smiles,
Angels will see us through.
Sell war, hate, and greed to our juvenilles,
Yes, they'll know what to do!

Call it What You Will

Insomnia consumes me now,
When I really need the rest.
Dysfunction gives me comfort now,
The sinners say 'God Bless!'
Reality stays at my back door,
To remind me of my losses.
Strength is what we fight battles for,
Much less for our own causes.
Jealousy and hatred aren't strong enough,
To let you have your fill.
I'm nothing, now, if I'm not tough,
So call it what you will.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Boredom leads to...

         Okay, boy's and girl's. I have gone absolutely Mental. We got this amazing TV with freaking internet and 3D shit's and whatnot and no cable yet. So we were trying NETFLIX, which for some reason wasn't working on the TV. Then I found this super awesome thingie on my laptop called Zulu. I can literally watch any episode of any show (just about) on my freaking computer! Wahoo, right?
          Well what's even more amazing is that my TV has an app for it, so this morning, when I found out it would work I was super pumped. I wanted to watch "My Name is Earl", because I love that show, and it played, sort of. :( The bf comes to the rescue, to help me get it to work, and ... LOW & BEHOLD guess what shows work almost perfectly? "American Dad" and "Family Guy" his two favorites! Yay for him, right? Ugh. We have watched literally 15 episodes a piece.
           I want something different to work on my insanely amazing TV, or else I am going to lose my pretty little mind
:) ....

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Zombies, Drugs, and Weirdness

             Wow, I'm so ansy right now, I've quit smoking. This is my 51st hour, with absolutely NO NICOTINE! I'm about ready to chew my own arm off. There's an interesting topic, Zombies. Zombies and bathsalt, go hand in hand? You want me to tell you why? Here goes.
             We've got this new craze going on called bath salts. What this is, is basically legal meth. These "bath salts" are marketed in a way that says they aren't for human consumption, but sold right next to the legal weed, thus giving the idea that they are legal speed. Being, that there is no way to test for this legal weed, or the legal speed, it gives off a feeling of "security" to potential dopers. Dopers that wont or haven't done the more natural forms of even weed, since it stays in your system for so long, and most employers test for it. Imagine what these potential dopers are thinking, when they see that there's something a little more powerful than their Monster Energy Drinks, and their Red Bull. And untracable? Hell yes, potential doper has been targeted!
We should totally get high!

           What does this do, you ask? Well boys and girls, this synthetic speed is in fact EXACTLY like Methamphetamines. Exactly like it, except for the lack of "coming down pains". If you've ever known anyone who did/does meth on the regular, or if you've ever watched Intervention, you know what a tweaker is. If not, a "Tweaker" is someone who stays up for days on end, getting high and messing with things. "Oh Wow", you're probably thinking, right? Well ponder this, the majority of these people trying this "bath salt", who haven't ever done speed, don't know the affects of staying up for days on end with no food, no sleep, and tons of chemicals surging through your body.
           These potential synthetic dopers, aren't at all aware of what they're getting themselves into, because the majority of them are not familiar with any of these side affects from the bath salts more well known, more traceble cousin, meth. So they think they will be just fine. They may even try to be a badass and do a lot. Everything feels fine at first, right? They have energy, feel euphoria, aren't hungry, or tired. They're HIGH. They love it! Ok, so they go on a "bender" cause the shits just so fun, right? Then, the next thing you know, these kids have robbed their parents blind and used ALL of their lunch money to buy this bath salt. They come to a road block... And what happens when every tweaker runs out of dope and has to come down? Depression, Anxiety, Mood swings, Paranoia, Hallucinations. The works. Bringing forth, our ZOMBIEISM!

             Now I really don't know wtf is causing these idiots to eat people. Seriously, I can't fathom such ignorance. Maybe it's the power of suggestion, or maybe it's because our legal system has shown us that cannablism is a symptom of being mentally ill, and mentally ill folks will not be held accountable, right? So maybe these guys are just smart, thinking, "Hey, I just fucked up and killed the shit outta this mutha fucka, I better start eating brains so I don't catch a murder charge!" Thank you judicial system!
               This is my take on the "Bath Salt Zombie Apocolypse" shit. Besides the Apocolypse doesn't start until December, duh. And I'm ALMOST ready for that bitch to start, too.

I Can't Watch This Shit

              OMG, my entire soul hurts, right now! I can not watch those mutha effin SAD ANIMAL commercials! I have a big heart, especially when it comes to animals, since they can not help themselves and it is our job to protect them! They show the cute lil animals, and even the pathetic looking ones, and scroll words at the bottom that say stuff like "It hurts when you hit me" and "I don't understand why you don't love me" OMG it makes my stomach do flips, and it makes my heart hurt! I wish people would pay more attention to the error of their ways. Don't even get me started on the USPCA commercial with the song "Angel" playing in the background, Oh yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Don't act like you don't get sad as fuck when you hear that damn song, anyways! Imma say, Imma own up to it, that shit makes me CRY! Every. Fucking. Time.
           I have just seen this commercial twice in the past hour, and it's giving me sadness. If I was rich, you can bet your ass I would save like ALL of these animals! I just think people can be a little selfish sometimes. Especially when it comes to children and animals. How could you hurt either one?

How the fuck could you?
I'd jack your jaw for you, if I ever saw you. No shit. These guys are innocent, and I have more compassion for them than I do for any adult. Babies and animals depend on us, for everything. They're like little angels. LOOK AT THEM! Heehee.
               I'm done now, just don't ever let me catch you being mean to them. Or I will stab you in the jugular!

A Blog About Nothing

           Hey, World. Today I have absolutely nothing relevant to say. This is because I don't know what is going on inside my head. See, I haven't been getting much sleep, lately. I'm supposed to feel like sleeping after working out periodically through the day, right? Not this Pintu. You see, I've battled insomnia throughout my entire life. Well, at least since my teen years. I can't turn my thoughts/worries/fears off when the whole world is quiet. Quiet fuels my insanity.
           This is how my night plays out:1) Get kids to bed at a fairly decent hour, about 8:30/9:00.2) Wind down, and do the things you can't do when you have a baby attached to your boob (Like Laundry).3) Snack on foods that I totally DO NOT need, but I am just bored.4) Come into bedroom, turn on computer and look for hilarious pictures/think of hilarious shit to say on my Ecards- or else say something I have been thinking in real life, on an Ecard, so that I don't end up saying rude shits to real life friends/family/enemies. Step 4 takes a fuckin' minute so be patient. 5) Lay here. And think. About. Every. Fucking. Thing. Attempt to say my prayers, but I even get off topic in my prayers, so I end up saying "Oh Lord, I'm sorry I ended up talking about leggings when I was trying to pray." I say that at least twice a night, you know. And repeat steps 4 and 5 simultaneously until about 3 or 4am.
I HAVE tried everything.
Can't count the sumbitches when they wont sit still!
Fuckin' sheep. Yes, I've tried counting sheep. I always end up imagining myself hunting wolves, that are making my sheep run so fast that I can't count them. Then I'm in a Zombie Apocolypse, of course. The wolves turn into Zombies-"Omg Dierks Bentley, where did you come from? Hell yes, I will help you fight the zombies!" Yes, That's how my mind works!
        So, now that I've spent 30 minutes making my Dierks Bentley "Zombie fighter" picture, I've forgotten what the point was. Sleep.. or lack thereof. I'm completely dysfunctional today. I think I should probably take a nap. No, I'm going to work out. Yes. Must. Prepare. For. Zombie. Apocolypse. I work out, I work out... Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah. The time has come, muahahahaha!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

A few of my poems


What I want for you, my dear.

This is what I want for my children & my lil sisters, in no particular order.

I hope the sun always shines for you, or that you can learn to love the rain.
I hope when you first fall in love, that it doesn't end with you in pain.
I hope you don't need material possessions, to make you feel alive.
I hope you are always curious, and always keep a powerful drive.
I hope you encounter life's little pleasures, without substance abuse.
I hope that when you're faced with tough decisions, you ask the Lord what to choose.
I hope nobody ever hurts your feelings, or makes you feel unloved.
I hope you always are blessed and remember to thank the Man Above.
I hope you can take every opportunity to better your own life.
I hope you learned how to be a wonderful husband or a loving wife.
I hope you know you mean the world to me, and I'm so proud of you all.
I hope you're never afraid to ask for my help, I'll be there if you call.



Tragically, I feel that I am suffocating within,
Chronicly, I'm anticipating another could've been.
Sadly, I cannot recall a method to my madness,
Unfortunately, I'm overcome with a certain sadness.
Ultimately, I will collapse, in bitter exauhsting tears,
Resulting in another night dominated by my fears.
Tomorrow, I will pretend that I am okay, again,
Until the next dark and quiet night sets in.
For now, I shall fake a couple hours of rest,
Knowing that I'm losing this unrelenting test.


I will never understand how you could casually cause such pain.
You always made me feel like a stranded fool, lost in the rain.
You never took into consideration that you were all I had.
You thrived, each day, just to make me feel bad.
Blindly I stayed in the hell that you made for me.
If there was another option, it was one I could not see.
I held on to something you were tearing apart.
I was a like a game to you, trying to break my heart.
Together we were flames fueled by gasoline,
I never understood how one could be so mean.
Even after I broke away from your clever disguise,
Again you felt the need to hurt me with your lies.
I know I'll never understand people like you,
Or what makes you want to hurt people the way you do.
I'm trying to forgive you so that I can move on,
But it isn't easy when my fear of you, still, isn't gone.

wide awake

Tonight I'm wide awake, and so is she,
But the thing that makes it ok's the way she looks at me.
My little angel, such a gift from the Lord above,
I never knew my heart could contain such love.
I hope I can show how much I really adore you,
As the love in your eyes shows you trust me to do.
You give me a reason each day to go on,
And keep this weathered heart of mine, strong.
So forgive me throughout your life if I stop and just stare,
For you're one of the few things that makes life seem fair.
I couldn't have asked for more from anyone,
Than this angel to show me my life's now begun.
In all of my days and every single long night,
Finally I know that I've done somethings right.

To: each one of my children 

Mr. Fix-it!

He's always had such a gorgeous smile,
And, now I see the same one when I look at our child.
He knows just what to say to make my heart Light up,
And a hug from him can make me perk right up.
Nothing ever stays broken with that man around,
He's the most hardworking man that I've ever found.
He tells me I'm beautiful & we never fight,
I thank God for him each day and each night.
I look into his eyes and I know I've been blessed,
I'm finally in love, who would've guessed?
Only he can catch me when my world falls apart,
I love you, Josh, with all of my heart!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves. Where do I start? 

  Well I have a few. Those little things that make you want to just Stab somebody. (Oh, before I forget, I always say I'm gonna Stab someone, but I'd never actually do it, it's my *anger* word) Anyways.. It didn't take me long to figure out what my pet peeves are, so I could blog about them. I'm a generally kind person, outwardly. Inside, I'm like "WTF, ARE YOU STUPID?!" The following are ways to get my inside feelings towards you to grow ugly.

    First off, if you open it, shut it. If you mess it up, clean it up, and all that jive! Ughhh! Don't be a SLOB! You have no idea how incredibly annoying it is to clean the kitchen/bathroom/living room (or what-have-you) only to find it in shambles as soon as you turn your back. Or maybe you do, if you're a parent. Just don't expect me to want you around if you can't do these things. 

                                                 Are you fucking kidding me? Shut that shit!

    Another thing that drives me bat-shit insane(although you can't really say anything) is toilet paper replacement/positioning. Yes I said it! Positioning!

This shit!

                                                              This is WRONG people!

Oh, why, sweet Jesus, do people think this is okay? The toilet paper should be replaced when you use the rest of the roll, and it goes over the effin top! For one, nobody wants to be on the shitter and have to pull all of the scrap pieces off of the cardboard just to wipe (Why, yes, I have wiped with the cardboard itself... But that's another blog) And it's just not meant to come from underneath the roll, I dunno why, ask Jesus! If I am at your house, and your roll is on wrong, I will stab you fix that shit! You will come into your happy potty place, sit down, sprinkle some water/grow a turd tail, and reach for the T.P. only to find that...BAM That shit's on correctly! You're-veryfucking-welcome! 

       On a more serious note: Mothers: Stop fucking bashing each other! Jeez! We all have our own damn way of doing things, and unless someone asks for help, your input is not fucking needed, or appreciated! In fact, that shit is frowned on. I don't care if you are a mom of one or the frikin octo-mom, bitch, you aint my mom, so keep it to yourself! Except for you, Momma, I love you~your opinion is always welcomed!

Keepin it real, for my momma!  

I see way too much of that shit, as a mom, myself, and on these "mommy pages". Ladies, I agree with freedom of speech and whatnot, but bashing is totally-fucking-bullshit! There's a fine line in stating your opinion and being an unclassy assed bitch. Just sayin'. 

          I'm sure I could come up with a shit-ton more pet peeves, but for now, that is all. I'm just bein me~ Stay tuned.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Losing My Virginity

     Haha, gotcha! You thought this was going to be about sexual things, didn't you? Well not quite! This is, however, my first time to blog. I have a lot to say, but never really imagined anyone would take the time to read any of my "ramblings". So, welcome to my world. Have a peek inside my Mom-entarily Mental life. I am a mother of  four, amazing children, so life can be kinda crazy at times. I will also be starting college in the fall (at age 27) so we wont run out of things to talk about!

   So, this is my first time... and much like the real "first time", it's a little awkward for me (Haha) since I've never let the world know how I feel/think/live. I feel like I am the only person who "gets me" sometimes, as I'm sure we all do. I am one of the most random people you'll ever meet, and it's FUN this way! Everything I see/hear/do reminds me of a song so I tend to bust out in song quite often. You'll see a lot of that. You'll also see a shit ton of poems, cause I'm a talented mofo with the poems.

   Enjoy yourself, life's too short to be a bitch about it.     Until later X's & O's.