Friday, August 10, 2012

I'm a Hazard to Myself. Don't Let Me Get Me.

             I bet you're wondering why I am naming this blog after parts of a P!NK song. Well, SO am I. I just... Hell, I don't know who I am today. I didn't know who I was, yesterday. I probably wont know who I am, tomorrow, either. Sometimes I get in a funk. I guess it's excusable, being that I've been through a helluva lot this year. Parts of me are missing. I feel that, sometimes, these parts of me are endangered. I feel that these missing parts of me could be lost for good. I don't want that. I want my life back. Sometimes I don't know how to be strong anymore. It's tough, when you've been the strong one your whole life, and nobody ever let you break down, but that's a whole other blog.
           I've been bringing myself down, lately. I have had seriously negative thoughts, that aren't safe for me. They just bring me further down until I can't take it anymore. I want to fight my way out of it, with my good natured, joking, monster strong personality. But. I. Can't. Fuck that. Yes I can. I am me, I am not a pussy. I can do this shit. I need to pull my clever, little head out of my ass up for air and DO THIS SHIT, HOOYAH!. I owe it to myself and my family (those of them who actually love me for me, and aren't selfish bitches who try to bring me down). Fuck feeling sad about it, what's that gonna do for me? Not. A. Fucking. Thing.
             Yeah, I can do this make this problem my bitch. I've got this under wraps. Right? Yeah. That's right. Bet your sweet ass bottom dollar. I will be better, tomorrow, than I was today, and better the day after that. This is my life, and I am taking control of it RIGHT NOW. I truly can be my own worst enemy. Nobody can be harder on myself than me. If those of you, who care to point out all of my weaknesses and mistakes, are reading my blog, thanks NO THANKS for the encouragement  discouragement.  I'm a far better person than you give me credit for. Watch and see.

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