Thursday, June 28, 2012

Nausea, Heartburn, Indgestion, Upset Stomach? Fuck your PeptoBismol

                  I feel like shit. So bear with me. I've had some sort of unpregnancy-related, un-gallbladder-related, undiagnosed CRAP going on. It's fucking stupid. I hurt DAILY. I'm nauseated, any time I eat, so am trying to eat less often and just drink tons of juice and take vitamins, you know, for strength, but fuck strength, it's overrated.
               I debated whether or not to blog about this, and decided, it's my BLOG, so that's what it's FOR, right? Damn right. So anywho, I've freaking been through every test. And frankly, I have no answers. Now I don't have a doctor since my insurance changed. Have to drive over an hour an a half, or two. Yeah, fucktards, I don't have a/c in my car and it's eleventy hundred, outside, ya digg? A 95 Mercury Grand Marquis sounds marvelous, right? Ya, damn right. In '94-'96. Then it was shit. Because that's how Ford Builds Stuff. Ford Tough. Pffft. My ass.
           Off Topic! Anyways, my belly. Yes, it's annoying the motherfuck outta me. So I have to make an appointment. To get more tests, to find out what's wrong with me. And they're gonna violate me... And it's not even a good kind of violate, that you joke about when you're chillin' with your homies. They get to make money, doing stuff that helps them find out what's going on. YAY. Doesn't everyone love when your tests come back negative and it's a good thing, and a bad thing? Stressful!
             Oh well, I just want to take this time to say, "Fuck your Pepto". 'Cause, it sure isn't helping me any. And, peace! Oh, and, "Hi" to my bitches that be pimpin' me, yo. Haahaa I've always wanted to say that! I'm gonna go watch the baby roll around, and chew on shit toys. Hope you guys have a good weekend coming  up in your futures.  X's & O's.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

           Sometimes, I feel as if I am truly an oddball. Partly because I am, partly because, half the things that run through my head probably don't run through other people's heads. I start writing these blogs and don't even really think about them, they are never constructed properly, and sometimes they have no point. However, I write them down to get these things out of my head so new, more amazing ideas can come to mind in the old ideas place.
           Anyways, whatever, here was one of my amazing ideas. I was talking to the boyfriend, and keeping him awake with my goofy shit(as usual), and decided to have theme days. Like days where we could dress up at least one day of every month (Halloween-ish stuff) Or have to have a certain accent ALL DAY LONG. Ok, so Janurary 15th would be national 60's/70's day. We would of course dress up as hippies. It's not optional, everyone MUST participate, ok. Feburary 15th would be Rockin' that Afro Day, mandatory afros for all, even your baby. March 15th would be Native American Culture Day, where you all will dress up in authentic American Indian clothing, like a pocahontas style dress, headress included. April 15th is Vato Day, and you have to talk like the dude on Next Friday who was like "No more locked doors, holmes". May 15th is Valley Girl day, "Like, duh", gum chewing is completely nessecary. June 15th is Zombie/Monster Day. You. Must. Dress. Scary-as-fuck.
           You liking the way this is goin'? Well we're only halfway done, guys. July 15th, is English Settler Day, complete with your English accent, and the freaking awesome clothes they wore back then. Like So

I'm totally serious
August 15th will be Loony Day. Seriously. Go nuts, forget to brush your hair, wear mismatched shoes, act like you've lost it (Not too much of a stretch for some). September 15th is going to be Old School Gangster Day. Bugsy Segal type shit. Italian and NY accents for all. It will even be legal to counterfiet money on that day. October 15th is gonna be Rennasiance Day. Dress like a Fairy, A queen, A joker, any of the guys you'd see at a Rennasiance Fair, and be all like "My Lady, My Lord". For Halloween, just do whatever the fuck you want. In November, we're gonna have "Make Fun of Hitler" day. Just make Hitler the butt of your jokes all day long, because he sucks.
             And Finally, MY FAVORITE day will be December 15th, and since I am not greedy about who gets to go first and bull like that, my month will be last in the year. This is redneck day, and you LOVE IT. This is gonna be sterotypical, Clampett Style, black out some teeth and talk like a full blown HICK day! Woo HOO! We can totally do this if anyone wants to play this game with me! The Hunny said he isn't going to participate, but after he sees how much fun WE ALL are having, maybe he will be swayed. Who's down?

Thursday, June 21, 2012

A Few More Poems

Here's a few more of my poems. Yes, I wrote them all.




I still love the way you smile at me,
And you never make me feel like you want to be free.
I am blessed to have you on my side,
Making my life less of a bumpy ride.
You can count on me to always be here,
And for my love to grow daily, year after year.
You make me see that I can conquer all things,
And I honestly feel like my heart has grown wings.
What I have for you is more than just 'love',
And life without you would just be so rough.
I love you, my dear, with all that I am,
And I will be yours, forever, I plan.

Recipe For Disaster

Take a little piece of your soul,
Cover it in fear.
Wrap it up in garnished weaknesses,
Add a little tear.
Take away the faith and hope,
Bleach out all the love.
Let it rise on the inability to cope,
Remove all sight of above.
Keep it in the cold and darkness,
Manifest some dread.
Fold the anguish into a new harness,
Voila, disaster is bred!

Crowded Streets

We're all building bridges with landmines now,
Curiosity gets us all shot.
We cover for the weaklings who never learned how,
Animosity was all that we got.
We can't teach our children to climb higher,
Disaster lays in all of the clouds.
We've sold our dreams to an invisible buyer,
Disease has us all filled with doubts.
Bury the wicked with champange and smiles,
Angels will see us through.
Sell war, hate, and greed to our juvenilles,
Yes, they'll know what to do!

Call it What You Will

Insomnia consumes me now,
When I really need the rest.
Dysfunction gives me comfort now,
The sinners say 'God Bless!'
Reality stays at my back door,
To remind me of my losses.
Strength is what we fight battles for,
Much less for our own causes.
Jealousy and hatred aren't strong enough,
To let you have your fill.
I'm nothing, now, if I'm not tough,
So call it what you will.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Boredom leads to...

         Okay, boy's and girl's. I have gone absolutely Mental. We got this amazing TV with freaking internet and 3D shit's and whatnot and no cable yet. So we were trying NETFLIX, which for some reason wasn't working on the TV. Then I found this super awesome thingie on my laptop called Zulu. I can literally watch any episode of any show (just about) on my freaking computer! Wahoo, right?
          Well what's even more amazing is that my TV has an app for it, so this morning, when I found out it would work I was super pumped. I wanted to watch "My Name is Earl", because I love that show, and it played, sort of. :( The bf comes to the rescue, to help me get it to work, and ... LOW & BEHOLD guess what shows work almost perfectly? "American Dad" and "Family Guy" his two favorites! Yay for him, right? Ugh. We have watched literally 15 episodes a piece.
           I want something different to work on my insanely amazing TV, or else I am going to lose my pretty little mind
:) ....

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Zombies, Drugs, and Weirdness

             Wow, I'm so ansy right now, I've quit smoking. This is my 51st hour, with absolutely NO NICOTINE! I'm about ready to chew my own arm off. There's an interesting topic, Zombies. Zombies and bathsalt, go hand in hand? You want me to tell you why? Here goes.
             We've got this new craze going on called bath salts. What this is, is basically legal meth. These "bath salts" are marketed in a way that says they aren't for human consumption, but sold right next to the legal weed, thus giving the idea that they are legal speed. Being, that there is no way to test for this legal weed, or the legal speed, it gives off a feeling of "security" to potential dopers. Dopers that wont or haven't done the more natural forms of even weed, since it stays in your system for so long, and most employers test for it. Imagine what these potential dopers are thinking, when they see that there's something a little more powerful than their Monster Energy Drinks, and their Red Bull. And untracable? Hell yes, potential doper has been targeted!
We should totally get high!

           What does this do, you ask? Well boys and girls, this synthetic speed is in fact EXACTLY like Methamphetamines. Exactly like it, except for the lack of "coming down pains". If you've ever known anyone who did/does meth on the regular, or if you've ever watched Intervention, you know what a tweaker is. If not, a "Tweaker" is someone who stays up for days on end, getting high and messing with things. "Oh Wow", you're probably thinking, right? Well ponder this, the majority of these people trying this "bath salt", who haven't ever done speed, don't know the affects of staying up for days on end with no food, no sleep, and tons of chemicals surging through your body.
           These potential synthetic dopers, aren't at all aware of what they're getting themselves into, because the majority of them are not familiar with any of these side affects from the bath salts more well known, more traceble cousin, meth. So they think they will be just fine. They may even try to be a badass and do a lot. Everything feels fine at first, right? They have energy, feel euphoria, aren't hungry, or tired. They're HIGH. They love it! Ok, so they go on a "bender" cause the shits just so fun, right? Then, the next thing you know, these kids have robbed their parents blind and used ALL of their lunch money to buy this bath salt. They come to a road block... And what happens when every tweaker runs out of dope and has to come down? Depression, Anxiety, Mood swings, Paranoia, Hallucinations. The works. Bringing forth, our ZOMBIEISM!

             Now I really don't know wtf is causing these idiots to eat people. Seriously, I can't fathom such ignorance. Maybe it's the power of suggestion, or maybe it's because our legal system has shown us that cannablism is a symptom of being mentally ill, and mentally ill folks will not be held accountable, right? So maybe these guys are just smart, thinking, "Hey, I just fucked up and killed the shit outta this mutha fucka, I better start eating brains so I don't catch a murder charge!" Thank you judicial system!
               This is my take on the "Bath Salt Zombie Apocolypse" shit. Besides the Apocolypse doesn't start until December, duh. And I'm ALMOST ready for that bitch to start, too.

I Can't Watch This Shit

              OMG, my entire soul hurts, right now! I can not watch those mutha effin SAD ANIMAL commercials! I have a big heart, especially when it comes to animals, since they can not help themselves and it is our job to protect them! They show the cute lil animals, and even the pathetic looking ones, and scroll words at the bottom that say stuff like "It hurts when you hit me" and "I don't understand why you don't love me" OMG it makes my stomach do flips, and it makes my heart hurt! I wish people would pay more attention to the error of their ways. Don't even get me started on the USPCA commercial with the song "Angel" playing in the background, Oh yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Don't act like you don't get sad as fuck when you hear that damn song, anyways! Imma say, Imma own up to it, that shit makes me CRY! Every. Fucking. Time.
           I have just seen this commercial twice in the past hour, and it's giving me sadness. If I was rich, you can bet your ass I would save like ALL of these animals! I just think people can be a little selfish sometimes. Especially when it comes to children and animals. How could you hurt either one?

How the fuck could you?
I'd jack your jaw for you, if I ever saw you. No shit. These guys are innocent, and I have more compassion for them than I do for any adult. Babies and animals depend on us, for everything. They're like little angels. LOOK AT THEM! Heehee.
               I'm done now, just don't ever let me catch you being mean to them. Or I will stab you in the jugular!

A Blog About Nothing

           Hey, World. Today I have absolutely nothing relevant to say. This is because I don't know what is going on inside my head. See, I haven't been getting much sleep, lately. I'm supposed to feel like sleeping after working out periodically through the day, right? Not this Pintu. You see, I've battled insomnia throughout my entire life. Well, at least since my teen years. I can't turn my thoughts/worries/fears off when the whole world is quiet. Quiet fuels my insanity.
           This is how my night plays out:1) Get kids to bed at a fairly decent hour, about 8:30/9:00.2) Wind down, and do the things you can't do when you have a baby attached to your boob (Like Laundry).3) Snack on foods that I totally DO NOT need, but I am just bored.4) Come into bedroom, turn on computer and look for hilarious pictures/think of hilarious shit to say on my Ecards- or else say something I have been thinking in real life, on an Ecard, so that I don't end up saying rude shits to real life friends/family/enemies. Step 4 takes a fuckin' minute so be patient. 5) Lay here. And think. About. Every. Fucking. Thing. Attempt to say my prayers, but I even get off topic in my prayers, so I end up saying "Oh Lord, I'm sorry I ended up talking about leggings when I was trying to pray." I say that at least twice a night, you know. And repeat steps 4 and 5 simultaneously until about 3 or 4am.
I HAVE tried everything.
Can't count the sumbitches when they wont sit still!
Fuckin' sheep. Yes, I've tried counting sheep. I always end up imagining myself hunting wolves, that are making my sheep run so fast that I can't count them. Then I'm in a Zombie Apocolypse, of course. The wolves turn into Zombies-"Omg Dierks Bentley, where did you come from? Hell yes, I will help you fight the zombies!" Yes, That's how my mind works!
        So, now that I've spent 30 minutes making my Dierks Bentley "Zombie fighter" picture, I've forgotten what the point was. Sleep.. or lack thereof. I'm completely dysfunctional today. I think I should probably take a nap. No, I'm going to work out. Yes. Must. Prepare. For. Zombie. Apocolypse. I work out, I work out... Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah. The time has come, muahahahaha!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

A few of my poems


What I want for you, my dear.

This is what I want for my children & my lil sisters, in no particular order.

I hope the sun always shines for you, or that you can learn to love the rain.
I hope when you first fall in love, that it doesn't end with you in pain.
I hope you don't need material possessions, to make you feel alive.
I hope you are always curious, and always keep a powerful drive.
I hope you encounter life's little pleasures, without substance abuse.
I hope that when you're faced with tough decisions, you ask the Lord what to choose.
I hope nobody ever hurts your feelings, or makes you feel unloved.
I hope you always are blessed and remember to thank the Man Above.
I hope you can take every opportunity to better your own life.
I hope you learned how to be a wonderful husband or a loving wife.
I hope you know you mean the world to me, and I'm so proud of you all.
I hope you're never afraid to ask for my help, I'll be there if you call.



Tragically, I feel that I am suffocating within,
Chronicly, I'm anticipating another could've been.
Sadly, I cannot recall a method to my madness,
Unfortunately, I'm overcome with a certain sadness.
Ultimately, I will collapse, in bitter exauhsting tears,
Resulting in another night dominated by my fears.
Tomorrow, I will pretend that I am okay, again,
Until the next dark and quiet night sets in.
For now, I shall fake a couple hours of rest,
Knowing that I'm losing this unrelenting test.


I will never understand how you could casually cause such pain.
You always made me feel like a stranded fool, lost in the rain.
You never took into consideration that you were all I had.
You thrived, each day, just to make me feel bad.
Blindly I stayed in the hell that you made for me.
If there was another option, it was one I could not see.
I held on to something you were tearing apart.
I was a like a game to you, trying to break my heart.
Together we were flames fueled by gasoline,
I never understood how one could be so mean.
Even after I broke away from your clever disguise,
Again you felt the need to hurt me with your lies.
I know I'll never understand people like you,
Or what makes you want to hurt people the way you do.
I'm trying to forgive you so that I can move on,
But it isn't easy when my fear of you, still, isn't gone.

wide awake

Tonight I'm wide awake, and so is she,
But the thing that makes it ok's the way she looks at me.
My little angel, such a gift from the Lord above,
I never knew my heart could contain such love.
I hope I can show how much I really adore you,
As the love in your eyes shows you trust me to do.
You give me a reason each day to go on,
And keep this weathered heart of mine, strong.
So forgive me throughout your life if I stop and just stare,
For you're one of the few things that makes life seem fair.
I couldn't have asked for more from anyone,
Than this angel to show me my life's now begun.
In all of my days and every single long night,
Finally I know that I've done somethings right.

To: each one of my children 

Mr. Fix-it!

He's always had such a gorgeous smile,
And, now I see the same one when I look at our child.
He knows just what to say to make my heart Light up,
And a hug from him can make me perk right up.
Nothing ever stays broken with that man around,
He's the most hardworking man that I've ever found.
He tells me I'm beautiful & we never fight,
I thank God for him each day and each night.
I look into his eyes and I know I've been blessed,
I'm finally in love, who would've guessed?
Only he can catch me when my world falls apart,
I love you, Josh, with all of my heart!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves. Where do I start? 

  Well I have a few. Those little things that make you want to just Stab somebody. (Oh, before I forget, I always say I'm gonna Stab someone, but I'd never actually do it, it's my *anger* word) Anyways.. It didn't take me long to figure out what my pet peeves are, so I could blog about them. I'm a generally kind person, outwardly. Inside, I'm like "WTF, ARE YOU STUPID?!" The following are ways to get my inside feelings towards you to grow ugly.

    First off, if you open it, shut it. If you mess it up, clean it up, and all that jive! Ughhh! Don't be a SLOB! You have no idea how incredibly annoying it is to clean the kitchen/bathroom/living room (or what-have-you) only to find it in shambles as soon as you turn your back. Or maybe you do, if you're a parent. Just don't expect me to want you around if you can't do these things. 

                                                 Are you fucking kidding me? Shut that shit!

    Another thing that drives me bat-shit insane(although you can't really say anything) is toilet paper replacement/positioning. Yes I said it! Positioning!

This shit!

                                                              This is WRONG people!

Oh, why, sweet Jesus, do people think this is okay? The toilet paper should be replaced when you use the rest of the roll, and it goes over the effin top! For one, nobody wants to be on the shitter and have to pull all of the scrap pieces off of the cardboard just to wipe (Why, yes, I have wiped with the cardboard itself... But that's another blog) And it's just not meant to come from underneath the roll, I dunno why, ask Jesus! If I am at your house, and your roll is on wrong, I will stab you fix that shit! You will come into your happy potty place, sit down, sprinkle some water/grow a turd tail, and reach for the T.P. only to find that...BAM That shit's on correctly! You're-veryfucking-welcome! 

       On a more serious note: Mothers: Stop fucking bashing each other! Jeez! We all have our own damn way of doing things, and unless someone asks for help, your input is not fucking needed, or appreciated! In fact, that shit is frowned on. I don't care if you are a mom of one or the frikin octo-mom, bitch, you aint my mom, so keep it to yourself! Except for you, Momma, I love you~your opinion is always welcomed!

Keepin it real, for my momma!  

I see way too much of that shit, as a mom, myself, and on these "mommy pages". Ladies, I agree with freedom of speech and whatnot, but bashing is totally-fucking-bullshit! There's a fine line in stating your opinion and being an unclassy assed bitch. Just sayin'. 

          I'm sure I could come up with a shit-ton more pet peeves, but for now, that is all. I'm just bein me~ Stay tuned.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Losing My Virginity

     Haha, gotcha! You thought this was going to be about sexual things, didn't you? Well not quite! This is, however, my first time to blog. I have a lot to say, but never really imagined anyone would take the time to read any of my "ramblings". So, welcome to my world. Have a peek inside my Mom-entarily Mental life. I am a mother of  four, amazing children, so life can be kinda crazy at times. I will also be starting college in the fall (at age 27) so we wont run out of things to talk about!

   So, this is my first time... and much like the real "first time", it's a little awkward for me (Haha) since I've never let the world know how I feel/think/live. I feel like I am the only person who "gets me" sometimes, as I'm sure we all do. I am one of the most random people you'll ever meet, and it's FUN this way! Everything I see/hear/do reminds me of a song so I tend to bust out in song quite often. You'll see a lot of that. You'll also see a shit ton of poems, cause I'm a talented mofo with the poems.

   Enjoy yourself, life's too short to be a bitch about it.     Until later X's & O's.