Thursday, June 14, 2012

Zombies, Drugs, and Weirdness

             Wow, I'm so ansy right now, I've quit smoking. This is my 51st hour, with absolutely NO NICOTINE! I'm about ready to chew my own arm off. There's an interesting topic, Zombies. Zombies and bathsalt, go hand in hand? You want me to tell you why? Here goes.
             We've got this new craze going on called bath salts. What this is, is basically legal meth. These "bath salts" are marketed in a way that says they aren't for human consumption, but sold right next to the legal weed, thus giving the idea that they are legal speed. Being, that there is no way to test for this legal weed, or the legal speed, it gives off a feeling of "security" to potential dopers. Dopers that wont or haven't done the more natural forms of even weed, since it stays in your system for so long, and most employers test for it. Imagine what these potential dopers are thinking, when they see that there's something a little more powerful than their Monster Energy Drinks, and their Red Bull. And untracable? Hell yes, potential doper has been targeted!
We should totally get high!

           What does this do, you ask? Well boys and girls, this synthetic speed is in fact EXACTLY like Methamphetamines. Exactly like it, except for the lack of "coming down pains". If you've ever known anyone who did/does meth on the regular, or if you've ever watched Intervention, you know what a tweaker is. If not, a "Tweaker" is someone who stays up for days on end, getting high and messing with things. "Oh Wow", you're probably thinking, right? Well ponder this, the majority of these people trying this "bath salt", who haven't ever done speed, don't know the affects of staying up for days on end with no food, no sleep, and tons of chemicals surging through your body.
           These potential synthetic dopers, aren't at all aware of what they're getting themselves into, because the majority of them are not familiar with any of these side affects from the bath salts more well known, more traceble cousin, meth. So they think they will be just fine. They may even try to be a badass and do a lot. Everything feels fine at first, right? They have energy, feel euphoria, aren't hungry, or tired. They're HIGH. They love it! Ok, so they go on a "bender" cause the shits just so fun, right? Then, the next thing you know, these kids have robbed their parents blind and used ALL of their lunch money to buy this bath salt. They come to a road block... And what happens when every tweaker runs out of dope and has to come down? Depression, Anxiety, Mood swings, Paranoia, Hallucinations. The works. Bringing forth, our ZOMBIEISM!

             Now I really don't know wtf is causing these idiots to eat people. Seriously, I can't fathom such ignorance. Maybe it's the power of suggestion, or maybe it's because our legal system has shown us that cannablism is a symptom of being mentally ill, and mentally ill folks will not be held accountable, right? So maybe these guys are just smart, thinking, "Hey, I just fucked up and killed the shit outta this mutha fucka, I better start eating brains so I don't catch a murder charge!" Thank you judicial system!
               This is my take on the "Bath Salt Zombie Apocolypse" shit. Besides the Apocolypse doesn't start until December, duh. And I'm ALMOST ready for that bitch to start, too.

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