Vent

       I had an English teacher in high school (Mrs. T) who was quite a character. When asked my a friend of mine "How are you always in such a good mood?" This was what she said to do. She said "Well, when I get up in the morning and am getting ready for work, I sit in front of the mirror and laugh at myself, I literally just sit there and start laughing. At first it's a little bit forced but after a while it really starts to be funny." I am going to try this tomorrow, because I am having a completely shitty day. I literally have no patience for bullshit. I've tried to meditate, I have tried "talking it out", I have tried meds (yeah I'm that girl. The one on medicine to help me sleep at night, because I just can't TURN it off. Let me explain what that means, to those of you who aren't insomniacs. I worry, constantly, both about things I can control and the things that are not in my power to fix. The quietest times of the day/night are the WORST. 
     Here lately I have had a combination of all of the most severe worries at once. I'm fuckingsickofit. I hear that I am not good enough at blank   and then it's on. So to those of you who read this that may possibly be in my life (IRL) and reading this (there aren't many) FUCKING STOP. I'm sick of instability, I'm sick of coming up short. I'm sick of the lack of emotional support from the people who are supposed to be positive influences in my life. Yeah, my past WAS gray. Whofuckingcares? Nobody is perfect and the past is the past. If you were in my life at one of my low points, don't feel the need to compare me to that, because I HAVE bettered myself, and I AM moving forward. To those of you stuck on the 15yr old version of myself, LET IT GO, I am not that girl anymore, so maybe you should let yourself come into the present with the rest of the world. If I have wronged you, I am almost positive that I have apologized. If I haven't apologized, feel free to let me know what I've done that needs an apology and I will sure give you one. Stop holding shit over my head, because you can bet your ass I'm not gonna hold anything over yours. If we had problems, ever, IRL, and you KNOW me, than you know I do not stay mad at people. Ever. 
        What I am tired of tolerating, is people who haven't forgiven me. Especially when they haven't forgiven me for something DUMB, that's OVER WITH. What I am DONE tolerating, is a cocky, "holier than thou" attitude, especially from people who have NO CLUE what life is about, much less what I have/am enduring. I'm DONE biting my tongue.  From here on out, if you have some input or advice for me, make sure I ASKED you for it before you dish it out. No, I don't always know what the fuck I am doing, but I damn sure don't need advice from overly opinionated youngsters, or loud mouths. Some people may take offense to this, well guess what, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. I am tired of trying to please everyone. You'll get what you give, in my life. If you don't want to be in my life then LET ME GO. Don't sit there and stew in your disdain, just GTFO. Don't overreact when I tell you something that I feel, because I'm not going to be nice anymore. I let far too much shit slide. It's time to take care of me and mine. 
         To those of you that this doesn't apply to, carry on, sorry if I stressed you out, lol. To those of you this does apply to, I STILL LOVE YOU, just get over yourself, I don't need anymore stress. 

This Is About Lady Bug.

Dear, sweet, beautiful child 'o mine.(MY mama used to say that to me.)
I love you. You save me. You Saved my life, like each of your brothers and your sister has. In your own ways, you all have. I know unconditional love ONLY when I gave birth (or actually got pregnant with) to Ariana. That's when I knew. true true love. I am amazed by you everyday. you complete me.

I can't imagine life without any of you. Your dimples make everything you do cute. I see so many beautiful things in your future. youareamazing.

Blog Award. Thanks Sooperdad!

Thank you to my friend  Thanks to this guy




Ok, I have been nominated for a blog award! Now I get to work for it, this may be fun!
I have to give 11 random facts about myself, and each fact will be fabulous!
I have to choose another 11 bloggers to receive this award, and tell them they have been nominated- which I'm not sure of how to do?.
I have to answer 11 questions from SooperDad, and then I have to ask 11 questions to my nominees woo hoo, let's get it onnn!

                                         11 Mental Facts About Mom

• I actually love the number 11. It's symmetrical, and I have a weird OCD about numbers.
• I have 4 amazing children, who I'd do ANYTHING for. Two daughters, aged 8yrs, and 6mos, and two sons, ages 5yrs and 2yrs. They amaze me, daily.
• I am utterly in love, for the first and last time of my life. I met him in Highschool, but he never knew how I felt. I married an idiot and had 3 beautiful kids with him, then we split up 3 years ago. At that time I found "Hunny" on facebook. After all that time I was still head over heels. We talked on FB and the phone every night for a year, then started dating and have a beautiful daughter, together.
• I am the black sheep of the family. I am spontaneous, random, caring, and I let people walk all over me and treat me bad, far too often. That shit will soon change.
• I CAN admit when I am wrong. I really can. That being said, I google EVERYTHING, partly because I do not trust that people are right. If I google it and find that I am wrong, I will say I AM WRONG. (I'm rarely wrong)
• I have a strong Faith in God, and I am a sinner. I pray every night.
• Sometimes, when I pray, I get distracted about something that I am praying about and have to say "Lord forgive me for rambling" (OK OK, it happens every night)
• I am afraid of feet. I hate them all, even my own. I am constantly washing my feet.
• This is number 9, I just had to count my bullets. I live on my phone, and currently Skype. I LOVE TO SKYPE!
• I am very blessed. I try to count my blessings very often.
• Last but not least, I LOVE to laugh. I love to be goofy, I love to sing and dance and joke around. I cannot stand to be around someone who constantly complains or badmouths people.

Next off, I have to nominate 11 bloggers. IDK how to tag them though... I may have to edit this later.

                                 My Eleven Blogger Nominees

1.          Slice of Humble
2.          MomzillaRawr
3.          I'm a Bitch, and Proud of It
4.         Mommy to Three Monsters
5.         PaRANThood
6.         The Klonopin Chronicles
7.         I want a Dumpster Baby
8.         My Inner Child is a Drunken Whore
9.         Insane in the Mombrain
10.         Inside the Mind of a Ghetto Genius
11.         Parenting for Idiots, And Daddy's Stupid Blog

I dunno if all of these people actually blog, but we will see!
Next, eleven questions from Mr. Sooper Awesome Dad

                               Eleven Questions & Answers
                            (Asked By SooperDad)

1)Choose a character or person (fictional or real) that closest resembles your life so far. Why?
I don't think anyone resembles me or my life. I try to be like Mother Theresa, but I don't succeed.

 Mayo or Miracle Whip?
I hate either on my burger. Mustard, please. But I have learned that I love only Helmans Mayo, in tuna or chicken salad.


Is there any book you have read that you absolutely hated? 
I got mad during "Baal" by Robert McClendon. He was so evil and manipulative, and it made me think of the people I know who are similar. But it was a GREAT book, also.


Best looking person alive (besides me)?
LoL, haha! Well Honestly, my Hunny. I am more attracted to him than I have ever been to anyone else! And for a LONG time! lol


How did you get into the blogosphere?
I use my blog as a way to get some of the crazy out. It also keeps me from stabbing people. However, my best friend (KPP) convinced me to create my page. She thought other people would appreciate my humor as much as she does.


Who is your favorite comedian?
I love Adam Sandler, and Katt Williams, for two, very different styles of comedy. Dane Cook's all time fave though.


Favorite charity? Why?
Anything that helps animals. I am a sucker for animals. I love them, and people can be so cruel to them. For instance, the lady who is supposedly a "Cat Lover" and yells at her cat all day- annoys me. I had a neighbor about a year ago, who had this tiny dog and we could always hear her yellin "Go Poop, RIGHT NOW"! She was old, but c'mon, love the lil furry guys, they worship us as their owners.


Would you rather be wealthy beyond your dreams, or well-respected?
At this point in my life, I pick wealth. I have found too many people who are just disrespectful and have lost faith in being respected for who I am. Give me the cash and I can MAKE people respect me. Some people are so disrespectful that they need their asses whooped. I could go on and on.


What is your favorite conspiracy theory?
Mermaids, the Body Found. You. Have.To. Fucking. Watch. it.! 


How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
I'm not sure I think they should spend their time doing something more constructive, not tearing shit up, chucking all over the damn place. Take up knitting. Settle down.

Favorite 80's movie? (If it's anything other than the Breakfast Club, you're wrong.)
Sorry, nope. "Dream a Little Dream". LOVE IT SO MUCH. My youngest is named after the lady love interest. Watch it, it's great!


Now for my questions to my nominees:

1. What is your favorite thing about Facebook?
2. What is your biggest fear?
3. Do you believe that there are "ghosts" among us? Any encounters?
4. What's the best cure for a headache?
5. What state do you live in, and what state were you born in?
6. What's your favorite pickup line?
7. Do you think I'm pretty? LoL
8. Favorite Author?
9. In your opinion, what's the BEST vehicle in the whole wide world?
10. Worst habit? Best Thing about you?
11. What would be a dream come true to you?

There we have it, folks. Let me know what you think :)
All my love, all my hugs XoXoX
~Mom-entarily Mental~

I forgot to put my award up ☺

Find me on Facebook @ www.facebook.com/momtroversy   Thanks Sooperdad

I am so mad.

               I am super annoyed! Apparently, there's some idiots out there who think it's okay to dehumanize an innocent, little five year old girl, with progeria. This disgusts me! How awful does your life have to be, to bash a little girl? I want to ask you all to be on alert for the pages referring to this little angel as an "alien" titled "Stop the Aliens, before it's too late", search them, report them, let's take away these people's hobby! Also, if anyone knows how to report these pages to the correct authorities, let me know!!! I don't know why, but I have a feeling we can make a difference. C'mon, you guys, let's show these bullies they aren't shit!

She's counting on us

  

My Breasts

          This is a controversial topic, but I really don't see why. See, I've got 4 kids and have breastfed ALL of them, some longer than others for different reasons. I am currently breastfeeding a 6 month old, wonderful little girl. When I was pregnant, my MIL told me "You aint gonna make it 6 months breastfeeding!!" Suck it bitch, who's laughing, now. She also said the words "You mean you're gonna be SELFISH and be the only one who gets to feed her?" Selfish, what? Since when is providing my baby with the most natural form of sustinence, SELFISH? What is selfish, to me, is that anyone would want to deprive my baby of what I consider the healthiest, most beneficial form of nurishment around, just so they can tell everyone that they take care of my kid, and I don't. Now in the same breath, I want to state, I do not CARE if you chose to formula feed- whatever, good for you, bro. And I don't JUDGE those who didn't even attempt breastfeeding, because it's your fucking decision and THIS IS MINE. I'm simply saying, butt out of my shit, if you have anything negative to say about me nursing my kid.
         Fast forward to the delivery room. I had 4 people arguing about who was going to be in the room, whilst my vagina turned inside out. None of which were my family, all his. I WAS NOT relaxed, I was annoyed and wanted everyone but my boyfriend GONE. Still, I ended up having MIL and SIL in there, too, with my two BIL's mad because they weren't in there. UGH.
         OK more fast forwarding. (Insert silly FF noise, here) I'm in recovery, and nursing my baby, on demand, LIKE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO. BIL #2 comes in with some girl I don't even know and is like "Ugh, OMG you have to do that, NOW?" Uh, yeah fucker, I do, my kid is hungry and this is how she fucking eats.
         It went on, each time someone would come over, when we got home, and they'd wig out everytime I fed my kid. So I pretty much stayed confined to my room, and then eventually moved out (TY Jesus). So to give some advice, if you are a douchebag, like this, STFU, and don't be so fucking rude! I'm gonna feed my kid when she's hungry and guess what? Her food comes from my BOOB. Get over it or go home. People need to let moms do what they do. People need to stop giving unsolicited advice, IDGAF if you have 20 kids, to my 4. I know what I am doing, and I am doing a DAMN good job. All of my children are amazing, because of how I raised them.

Weird Ass Dreams and Poo On His Hand

       I woke up from a really weird dream at 2am and tried to send myself a message about it so I could remember to blog about it, because it also reminded me of something I should have said earlier, to my boyfriend. I ended up sending the following messages to my best friend, Kayla.

Seriously, I have no clue.

I have no idea why I called her "g". So anyways, here is why I was texting myself.

               I was dreaming that I was at my boyfriends work (only it looked nothing like where he actually works) and wearing my cut off shirt. My boobs were kinda big, I guess because I'm nursing and at the time in my sleep I could feel how full they were. Anywho, I walked through this crack in the door to get to my kid, and I had to walk past the boyfriend's coworker. The boyfriend's coworker said "Nice Crumb tray". Talking about my boobies. LoL. And then I woke up and remembered a comment my boyfriend made earlier.

       He was downstairs, watching our 6month old, while I was cleaning the bathroom, upstairs. I was gettin my scrub on, and I hear "Babyyy!" So my natural instinct is to be like "WHAT!?" And he was trying to get me to help him, because our daughter had pooped. I was like, psh, handle it. When I came back downstairs, from cleaning the toilet and whatnot, I said "Did you change her?" and he replied "Yes, and I got POOP on my hand!" Oh really. Poop. Baby poop, at that. I should have said, "Aw, you got innocent baby poop on your hand? Well let me tell you what I got on mine!" "I had my head practically in a bowl of your pee and poop, and your pee and poop is NOT innocent, I just scrubbed all of your facial hairs and toothpaste off of the sink AND had to stick my hands in a tub, where all of your sweat, daily body dirt, and foot particles make a sort of gross soup!" But I didn't say that. I didn't think about it until later.

      Yes, these are the things that cross my mind at 2am.